The Virginian-Pilot Archives

LEE'S FRIENDS EXTEND HANDS TO SUFFOLK

Published: Tuesday, December 11, 1990
Section: SUFFOLK SUN , page 6
Type of story: HEALTH

Source: By Frank Roberts, Staff writer

© 1990 Landmark Communications Inc.

The legacy of Emily ``Lee'' Harrison Harkins is now working locally for cancer patients and their families.
Lee's Friends, which memorializes Harkins, involves volunteers trained to ease the emotional pain that accompanies cancer.
The organization has been active since 1979 in Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Portsmouth and Chesapeake. ``Now, we want to let patients and their families know the service is available to them in Suffolk,'' said Emily Harkins Filer, executive director. ``We started small. Now we want to expand our services.''
It started when her 16-year-old daughter, Lee, died of Hodgkin's disease in 1978, but not before realizing that cancer patients need outside help.
Organizational literature notes, ``Even as she battled her disease, other patients were continuously on her mind.''
Her mother knew she wanted to turn those thoughts into action, and Lee's Friends was established. Two paid staff members at the Guild House in Norfolk work with many volunteers, addressing humanitarian needs of patients undergoing treatment.
Suffolk now boasts 10 volunteers, men and women who have gone through a 27-hour training course accredited by the Medical College of Hampton Roads. They went through orientation, were interviewed by members of Lee's Friends and offered three references.
The training involved 14 instructors, including a former lung cancer patient.
The volunteers drive patients to appointments, usually in the volunteers' vehicles.
Practical support also involves helping patients and their families decipher insurance and health coverage forms.
Claudette Chapell-McGhee spent 10 days helping Wilson Werkheiser of Sherwood Place with insurance problems.
``He had three different insurance companies. That's a lot of paperwork,'' she said, adding that cancer patients ``often don't feel like looking at it. When they do, the papers are hard to understand.
``I taught him how to handle it. I helped him get everything organized,'' said McGhee, an office manager for a physician. ``My support was on the practical side.''
Support on the emotional side may be a little more draining. Sometimes the patient, once proud and self-supporting, may reject help.
But the help is needed because, too often, family and friends cannot handle the dramatic, frightening change in lifestyle.
``Patients often can't rely on friends they know because those friends are emotionally involved and have a hard time being objective,'' Filer said. ``Sometimes the family does well but the patient falls apart, and vice-versa.
``Also, some friends are put off by the symptoms,'' she said. ``Another thing, a lot of people don't have a big network of friends.''
Filer tells about one patient who was turned off by the idle chatter of friends. ``Lee's Friends know how to work with such patients.''
The organization often works with those long-time friends.
For them, and the patients and their families, the training received by Lee's Friends is invaluable, enabling them to handle almost any situation that arises.
The volunteers also offer two important things that cannot be taught - understanding and compassion.
``Patients often tell volunteers things they won't tell family or friends. It's kept completely confidential,'' Filer said.
``The volunteers work one-on-one outside the hospital, in the home,'' said Frances Carr, Obici Hospital Cancer Services coordinator, a Lee's Friends volunteer. ``You can follow one family for a year or more, or be connected with a client in a terminal state.''
A lot of connections were made in Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake and Portsmouth this year, 160 referrals. They helped patients answer more than 1,700 phone calls, and offered more than 900 rides.
Lee's Friends are ready to do the same in Suffolk.
One local volunteer is Dianne Alexander who said her interest stems from ``several experiences in my family that made me realize that friends from outside are needed.''
Marilyn Hardin is another Suffolk volunteer.
``My husband died of cancer two years ago,'' she said. ``When I learned about Lee's Friends I realized how much it would have meant to us.''
Alexander, Hardin and other volunteers are ready to work with Suffolk patients and their families.
``If someone calls,'' Filer said, ``we'll set them up with somebody in town or give them information on support services.''
Money is needed for that work, and Friendship 2000, a fund-raising drive, is expected to begin shortly. The goal will be announced later this month.
Description of illustration(s):
MORE INFORMATION Cancer patients or family members needing help may call Lee's Friends at 625-3115. Call the same number to volunteer, or to make a tax deductible contribution. Photo by FRANK ROBERTS Frances Carr, left, Marilyn Harden, Emily Harkins Filer and Dianne Alexander are Lee's Friends.

This article is © 1990 Landmark Communications Inc. and may not be republished without permission. If you have questions or comments about the archives, please send us feedback.

LEE'S FRIENDS EXTEND HANDS TO SUFFOLK Published: Tuesday, December 11, 1990 Section: SUFFOLK SUN , page 6 Type of story: HEALTH Source: By Frank Roberts, Staff writer © 1990 Landmark Communications Inc. The legacy of Emily ``Lee'' Harrison Harkins is now working locally for cancer patients and their families. Lee's Friends, which memorializes Harkins, involves volunteers trained to ease the emotional pain that accompanies cancer. The organization has been active since 1979 in Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Portsmouth and Chesapeake. ``Now, we want to let patients and their families know the service is available to them in Suffolk,'' said Emily Harkins Filer, executive director. ``We started small. Now we want to expand our services.'' It started when her 16-year-old daughter, Lee, died of Hodgkin's disease in 1978, but not before realizing that cancer patients need outside help. Organizational literature notes, ``Even as she battled her disease, other patients were continuously on her mind.'' Her mother knew she wanted to turn those thoughts into action, and Lee's Friends was established. Two paid staff members at the Guild House in Norfolk work with many volunteers, addressing humanitarian needs of patients undergoing treatment. Suffolk now boasts 10 volunteers, men and women who have gone through a 27-hour training course accredited by the Medical College of Hampton Roads. They went through orientation, were interviewed by members of Lee's Friends and offered three references. The training involved 14 instructors, including a former lung cancer patient. The volunteers drive patients to appointments, usually in the volunteers' vehicles. Practical support also involves helping patients and their families decipher insurance and health coverage forms. Claudette Chapell-McGhee spent 10 days helping Wilson Werkheiser of Sherwood Place with insurance problems. ``He had three different insurance companies. That's a lot of paperwork,'' she said, adding that cancer patients ``often don't feel like looking at it. When they do, the papers are hard to understand. ``I taught him how to handle it. I helped him get everything organized,'' said McGhee, an office manager for a physician. ``My support was on the practical side.'' Support on the emotional side may be a little more draining. Sometimes the patient, once proud and self-supporting, may reject help. But the help is needed because, too often, family and friends cannot handle the dramatic, frightening change in lifestyle. ``Patients often can't rely on friends they know because those friends are emotionally involved and have a hard time being objective,'' Filer said. ``Sometimes the family does well but the patient falls apart, and vice-versa. ``Also, some friends are put off by the symptoms,'' she said. ``Another thing, a lot of people don't have a big network of friends.'' Filer tells about one patient who was turned off by the idle chatter of friends. ``Lee's Friends know how to work with such patients.'' The organization often works with those long-time friends. For them, and the patients and their families, the training received by Lee's Friends is invaluable, enabling them to handle almost any situation that arises. The volunteers also offer two important things that cannot be taught - understanding and compassion. ``Patients often tell volunteers things they won't tell family or friends. It's kept completely confidential,'' Filer said. ``The volunteers work one-on-one outside the hospital, in the home,'' said Frances Carr, Obici Hospital Cancer Services coordinator, a Lee's Friends volunteer. ``You can follow one family for a year or more, or be connected with a client in a terminal state.'' A lot of connections were made in Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake and Portsmouth this year, 160 referrals. They helped patients answer more than 1,700 phone calls, and offered more than 900 rides. Lee's Friends are ready to do the same in Suffolk. One local volunteer is Dianne Alexander who said her interest stems from ``several experiences in my family that made me realize that friends from outside are needed.'' Marilyn Hardin is another Suffolk volunteer. ``My husband died of cancer two years ago,'' she said. ``When I learned about Lee's Friends I realized how much it would have meant to us.'' Alexander, Hardin and other volunteers are ready to work with Suffolk patients and their families. ``If someone calls,'' Filer said, ``we'll set them up with somebody in town or give them information on support services.'' Money is needed for that work, and Friendship 2000, a fund-raising drive, is expected to begin shortly. The goal will be announced later this month. Description of illustration(s): MORE INFORMATION Cancer patients or family members needing help may call Lee's Friends at 625-3115. Call the same number to volunteer, or to make a tax deductible contribution. Photo by FRANK ROBERTS Frances Carr, left, Marilyn Harden, Emily Harkins Filer and Dianne Alexander are Lee's Friends.


This article is © 1990 Landmark Communications Inc. and may not be republished without permission. If you have questions or comments about the archives, please send us feedback.